One of the more intriguing things about faery is the number of roads there are that can be taken.  Roads that lead everywhere and nowhere.  Destinations ending in dreams, nightmares and everything in between.  The roads aren't well marked and some of them lead in an entirely different direction than the beginning would seem to indicate.  There are more than a few of these roads that mortals should not tread upon for various reasons.  Although Lost Boys don't grow up, it has been proven time and time again, as evidenced by a whole meadow dedicated to the fact, that they are very mortal.

A couple of days earlier, I had been involved with a heavily laden blackberry grove.  I didn't care a whole lot for blackberries, but there weren't any blueberries around and these were a lot better than stew or waybread.  I'd been taking a break, snoozing in the sun, when I had been roused by the crunch of leaves.  I opened my eyes and lazily looked up to see Reynard standing there in front of me with a bit of a smirk on his face.  "Hi, Reynard.  What's new, exciting and different?"

"Nothing around here, for sure.  I'd ask what you were up to, but it's pretty obvious looking at those stains on your hands and mouth."

I glanced down guiltily at my fingers which were stained purple from the berry juice.  I don't know why I suddenly felt that way, it wasn't that big a deal.  "How are you doing?" I finally asked him.  Reynard always seemed sort of skittish and almost as though he didn't fit in.  I wasn't sure if it was because he felt like he didn't fit or he didn't want to fit in.

He sat there looking at me as some clouds meandered across the sun.  The effect was really weird.  Reynard had his hood pushed back exposing his blond hair.  The combination of the sun shining in a beam against his hair and reflecting off the reddish fur made it look as though there was a halo of light around his face.  "That's your problem, you know."

I shook my head a bit to distract myself from the trick of the light.  Fortunately the last cloud bid adieu to the sun and the area was once more flooded with sunlight canceling the halo effect.  "Whatcha mean?"

"Asking me how I'm doing.  Worrying about Midnight Walks.  What are you scared of?  People won't like you if you don't go through this stuff or something?"

No, I..."

"Yeah, yeah.  C'mon.  They'll just hang around long enough until they don't need you anymore and then they'll desert you.  Oh sure, they might come back if they need your particular help again, but people are predictable.  They hate to be reminded of their weakness and you'll always remind them of it once they're whole again.  So they just wander away, never to return."

"That's not true!" I said heatedly.  "They're my brothers.  We look out for each other.  You're my brother too, for that matter."

"Yeah, I could tell you some stuff that brothers do for each other.  You're like some sort of overeager puppy."

"Am not."  I could always come up with the most scathing replies when I put my muddled mind to it.

"Just think about it.  You know it's true.  You're scared to death that in the middle of a group of friends, you're going to end up totally alone."

"I do not."  I tried to think of something else to say, but in the back of my mind there were a couple of things about what he said that suddenly seemed to make sense.  How could I have been so stupid?  I got up to my feet, looked around and started down a trail that I hadn't noticed before.  I stumbled over something and hit the ground so hard I saw stars.  For a moment I wondered what I was doing, but got back to my feet and took off the trail at a dead run.

Reynard watched me take off and sat there for awhile longer.  He had a very confused look on his face as though trying to figure out exactly what had just happened and if he could figure out when the fog had blown in and then blown back out again.  He felt a sudden need to be anywhere else.

The trail I was on suddenly came to a large log across it.  Normally I'd have recognize the warning sign, but was busy thinking about other things and scrambled over it without even thinking about it.  The fact that the trail then immediately narrowed down was another warning sign I ignored.  I just wanted to get as far away from Reynard as I could, to think about things.

As the crashing of both boy's sudden exits faded away, two figures stepped out from behind a large blackberry bush.  One wouldn't have thought they'd have been as hidden as completely as they were before they stepped out.  They were both dressed in scuffed leather jackets, leather boots and jeans.  From a distance they might have been brothers, but close up, seemed to morph into totally different looking beings.  The younger one's was in dreadlocks, the other's dirty blonde hair caught up in a pony tail in the back of his head.  "Well that was suspiciously easy," the dreadlocked one said.

"Skill is what you saw at work here.  The skinny one has a lot of rage and was just looking for a target to hurt.  The chubby one thinks too much.  Just a gentle nudge was enough to send them in the desired direction.  It would be most interesting to see what the fox is going to consider from this situation.  However, there are other things to marvel at.  Shall we?"

"Yes.  Let's see what transpires."  The two stepped back behind the bush and vanished from sight.  It was a good two hours before the first bird grew bold enough to start singing in the area again.

Stumble, Tigger, Leo and Silent sat around the common room table.  Stumble had grabbed Tigger and Leo as the first two boys to show up and explained to them what Silent had told him about Reynard.

"So Reynard thinks everyone hates him because of what happened to Red?"  Tigger was perplexed by the whole thing and couldn't believe it.  Part of becoming a Lost Boy was the fact that you left all that garbage behind.  Sure there were arguments among the boys.  There had even been a few knock-down drag-out fights in the past.  Yet those had normally only served to clear the air and were usually more about getting some exercise rather than actually trying to hurt anyone.  Sometimes it could get awfully cramped in Hangman's Tree when it had been raining straight on for a week.

Silent nodded his head 'yes' in response to Tigger's question.  "I knew he was sort of quiet and kind of kept to himself, but I just figured that's the way he was.  He rags on Cubby sometimes and occasionally goes off on a tear about mud being tracked in here," Leo mused aloud.

"He gets upset because of mud?  You've got to be kidding."

"Yeah.  Haven't you ever heard him complain about?" Leo asked his brother.  He doesn't do it a whole lot, but he's come unglued about it before."

Stumble groaned in exasperation.  "Who cares if he doesn't like mud?  Does it matter?  We need to figure out how to make him believe we don't hate him.  Once we get that done, I don't care how much he complains about the mud."

"We could throw him a party," Tig suggested.

"Yeah, right.  What's it going to be?  A 'We Don't Hate You' party?"

"Sure.  We could have presents and games and everyone could say what they liked about Reynard and there could be a pi?ata, and maybe a cake..."

"Dude, have you been outside lately?  Cake??  If you know where to get cake, I'm all ears.  And what's this pi?ata stuff?"

"Like you have a better idea?"

"A quest."  The three boys looked at Silent, who nodded.  "He needs a quest to lead."

"A quest?" Stumble asked.  "What good's that going to do?"

Leo looked suddenly excited.  "Naw, he's right.  Reynard needs something to 'do'.  I mean what's he normally do?"  The rest of the boys just looked at each other and shrugged.  "Exactly.  Don't you remember when you went on your quest, Stumble?"

"I dunno, it's only been a couple of weeks and you know how feeble I am."  Leo rolled his eyes and flung a piece of waybread at him.  "Yeah, yeah, okay.  I know what you're saying.  It did make me feel like I was actually doing something for a change.  But it's not like I ever thought you guys hated me."

"This will help him belong," Silent said.  "You let him lead the way and he'll feel as though he's being useful.  That you need his skills."

"Great," Tig mumbled.  "Now all we need is a quest to go on.  My feet hurt."

"No, it doesn't have to be some huge quest, right?"  Silent nodded affirmatively at Stumble's question.  "It just needs to be something that he can lead us on.  A thing sort of important."

"A thing that will only take the afternoon or something," Tigger chimed in.

"It can't seem to be a false thing," Silent said after a moment of reflection.  "If he thought that was it, he'd think you were making fun of him."

Stumble looked at the boy in surprise.  "How do you know that?"

"It happens when you suddenly end up alone," he said almost in a whisper.

No one said anything for a long time after that, just in case Silent had something more he wanted to add.  It was against the code to ask about his life before Lost Boy, but there was nothing in the code that said they couldn't let him know they wanted to find out by extending a silence long past the awkward stage.  Stumble had a feeling there was something vital in that statement, but didn't know what to do about it.  He also instinctively knew that Silent would rather die than admit he had something going on that he needed help with, no matter how much he wanted it.

"Okay, what should the task be?" Tigger said, being careful to avoid using the 'q' word.  "I don't think telling him we need his leadership to get clay mud by the river is going to work."

Leo laughed.  "Speaking of mud, about telling him we need someone to lead us to get Cubbs to take his bath for the cycle.  That would be a momentous chore that needs strong leadership."

Stumble frowned.  "Where is he, anyway?  I haven't seen him today.  He should be in on this.  He's the 'talk to' person."

"He told me he was going to get blueberries yesterday morning or maybe the day before," Tig said.  "So figure he won't be back for another week at least."  His laughter echoed by itself across the room.  "Don't you get it?  Cubby?  Blueberries?"  he frowned at the looks of the others.  "Okay, what?"

"You'd know, brother mine, if you paid any attention, that there haven't been any blueberries out in ages.  Beyond ages.  Even more importantly Cubby knows there aren't any."

"So what's he doing then?"

"We must find out as soon as we can," Silent said in that understated way of his.  "We have to find Reynard and have him lead us."

"This better not be some sort of quest, that's all I have to say," Tigger muttered darkly to himself as the boys got up from the table to get stuff started.

Stumble carefully measured a pinch of... something into the bubbling stew pot.  He wasn't exactly sure what it was a pinch of, but when he'd first gotten to the island, one of the boys who had done some cooking told him every pot of stew "absolutely had to contain this ingredient."  Truth be told, Stumble didn't have any idea what a couple of ingredients that went into the stew were.  The meat was always a mystery to him, though Surefoot, Tig and Leo usually broke out in peals of laughter when they delivered it to him.  Some of the vegetables were less than recognizable.  And there was the mystery spice that always had to be included.  He shook his head and prepared to carefully add another carefully measured pinch of the spice when Silent burst into the room.  Truly surprising was when Silent told Stumble he needed to speak to him.  In words, not gestures.  Stumble looked ruefully at the boiling pot and hoped that 'a lot more than a pinch' of the spice wouldn't be a disaster.

"What's up, Silent?" Stumble asked quietly.  He wasn't sure what had prompted Silent to begin speaking, but sure didn't want to end up spooking him somehow.

"It's Reynard," Silent said.  His voice sounded the same as Stumble remembered it, although it had this sort of scratchy quality that made Stumble want to clear his throat over and over as Silent continued talking.  "Do you know anything about Reynard?" Silent asked.

"Not really.  He's one of the few boys that wasn't rescued by Peter.  Cubby brought him back and we lost another Lost Boy during the rescue that occurred."

"Really?  So everyone blames Reynard for what happened?"

Stumble looked at Silent in surprise.  "No more than we'd blame you for the action of the others you were with.  It's all part of being one of us."

"I sort of get it, but I don't," Silent said, after thinking about if for a moment.  "It makes sense if I slip it in my mind sideways, but I don't think it's the way it's supposed to be."

"Uh, well.  Lost Boys are rescued when they need rescuing.  We come to the island, follow Peter, fight pirates and do stuff like that.  We all know that we may end up at Lost Boys' Meadow quicker than slower, but it's all worth it.  Tig and Leo were beaten by 'uncles', Cubbs had the snot kicked out of him by his old man, Ursa went through something that changed him big time.  If we become Lost Boys today and end up in Lost Boy's Meadow tomorrow, it's still better than living a lifetime in the 'real' world we came from.  Least for most of us it is.  So no one would blame him for what happened.  It's just one of those things, unless Reynard did it himself and he didn't."

Silent stared into the boiling pot as he thought about what Stumble had said.  "So no one would blame him even if he was being rescued."

"Heck, no.  We have enough to worry about without messing with that stuff."

"He told me that he thought everyone hated him because of what had happened then."

"Poppycock.  No one on the island hates him.  Why would we?"

"Reynard says he feels more alone than he did in the 'real' world and that everyone hates him because of what happened to Red.  He said he just stood there not doing anything while Cubby cried when Red got hurt and that now no one talks to him or anything."

Stumble thought about that for a moment as he stirred the stew to be doing something.  "Reynard's always been sort of quiet.  He doesn't get involved in a lot of stuff like the rest of us do.  No one blames him for anything, especially Cub.  If anything he'd blame himself before he'd blame anyone else."  Stumble kept stirring and finally sighed and looked at Silent.  "How are you feeling?  It seems like you were taking things pretty hard there for awhile."

Silent shrugged.  "I was pretty upset about... what happened.  But it's like Leo says, Lost Boys are tough and this thing with Reynard is important.  We gotta solve it and bring him back.  He can't go there."

Stumble was tempted to ask where 'there' was, be he had a feeling that he already knew.  "Yeah, you're right.  I guess we better figure out what to do."

Renynard wandered on the hills above the riverbank decapitating the evil daisy monsters' heads with a bamboo rod.  He was getting ready to strike the mortal blow on the daisies' evil leader, a small pine tree, when he saw the beaver pelt clad Silent fishing down below.  He didn't think Silent was going to catch anything, though, since he was using a string tied on one end to a branch and on the other end to a rock.  Silent would cast the rock in the water, wait a moment, pull it out and then repeat the whole cycle.  Reynard watched him for about five cycles and then crashed down the hill to where Silent was sitting.

"Hey, Beaver.  What's up?" Reynard asked.

Silent looked up at Reynard, gave a small shrug, and then went back to casting.

"Yeah.  Same here.  I like this place, but sometimes I wish there were a few more things to do around here."  A couple of minutes passed, broken only by the sound of Silent's rock falling into the water on an almost rhythmic cycle.  "Sounds like you had a really hard time of it right before you got here."

Silent nodded without looking up

"Yeah, same here. I sort of know how you feel.  I caused someone to get killed when they brought me back.  I should have done something, but I didn't know what to do.  Things happened too fast and the next thing I know there's this kid lying on the ground with this other one going nutsy."

Silent gave an inquiring look.

"Cubby, the big kid.  Not the Indian, the other fat kid with red hair who has the balancing problem."

Silent nodded.  He had stopped casting the rock as he listened to Reynard.

"So this one kid's on the ground, this other one is trying to stop him bleeding and crying and I'm just standing there like it's some sort of television show."  The inquiring look reappeared on Silent's face.  "Uh, like a play or something."  Silent nodded in understanding.  "Everyone blames me for it.  If I hadn't wished or wanted to come here, none of this would have ever happened.  Now everyone hates me because of what I did to Red."

Silent shook his head 'no' so hard that the hair seemed to halo his face.

"Well maybe not in so many words, but what else could they think?  I wanted to be here so bad and sometimes it feels more lonely than what I left behind.  Why am I telling you all this anyway?  It's not like you care about any of it.  You weren't even here then.  Everyone probably told you what a jerk I am anyway.  It's not like I don't deserve it or anything."  Reynard stood up and threw the bamboo rod into the river, then turned and went crashing into the woods.

Silent stared thoughtfully at the bamboo rod as it started to drift in the sluggish river current.  He pulled his rock in and carefully placed his pole, string and rock under a bush.  Silent looked towards the area where Reynard had run and took of at a run himself for Hangman's Tree.  He needed to find Stumble.